For those we love we go to extreme ends
by Mysticroyals
Summary: "I promise" Damon made the promise to Stefan that he would never leave. That he would never be alone, but after Damon dies, that is exactly what he is, alone. Damon is willing to do anything if it means getting back to Stefan, but will it be enough? Sorry summaries are not my thing, just give it a chance.
1. Thinking out loud

I stared at my brother, he was miserable, he had said it himself. He was lost, my death had affected him, probably more than anyone. He was alone. Me and my brother had been on our own for a very long time. We had each other and that was enough. Even when I had been a selfish bastard and left him, he knew I was still there. He knew that if he ever truly needed me, I would come, because I had promised.

Stefan wasn't sad. He was broken. Last time I had seen him like this had been when mother died. I still felt foolish calling her that. It was the 21st century and I still called my mom mother. It's just something I got used to.

I remembered the night she died like it was yesterday. Maybe because the memory of it all, was constantly on my mind. There wasn't a day where I didn't think about it. Now after 150 years I wonder, if it hurt Stefan as much as it hurt me? I mean when she died I thought no one knew what I was going through, no one loved her as much as I did, the pain I was feeling was unbearable. I still wonder how I got through it, and I guess the answer is Stefan.

* * *

><p><em>I had gone to bed early that night, everything seemed to be getting better. Father wasn't drunk out of his mind that night, mom wasn't as sick anymore, Stefan and her were even supposed to go for a walk the next day, our family seemed to be getting relatively better. <em>

_I looked around the room that me and Stefan shared. There was so many rooms in our house, yet me and Stefan didn't mind having to share. I looked towards his sleeping figure, smiling as I saw the way he was positioned. His whole body still remained on the floor, the only thing that he had managed to get to the bed was his tiny little head. He had been playing outside all day, I guess he was tired. I removed the covers from on top of me, and stood up to help him._

_"__Goodnight Damon" he said quietly as I headed back to bed._

_"__Goodnight Stef" I said half-awake._

* * *

><p>If only I had known that would be the last time I saw my mother. I would have stayed with her all night, I would've been there for her when the pain came, I would've been there to tell her I loved her. But I hadn't and she was gone, and there was nothing I could do about that. That night has been one of my biggest regrets.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Damon, Damon!" Stefan called as he tried to wake me._

_I turned away from him, annoyed "Stefan, please. The sun isn't out yet. What do I always say about that?" I face planted on my pillow, trying to shut him out, but he was persistent._

_"__You say that if the sun isn't up yet, then neither are you. And I shouldn't change that"_

_"__Okay. So why are you changing that?" I closed my eyes once more hoping I would get at least one more hour of sleep. _

_"__Damon. It's mother" I snapped my eyes wide open. He didn't need to say more._

_"__What has happened to her?" I asked now concerned. I now noticed how worried Stefan had been. _

_"__Father is sad, he is drinking again, and the doctor won't let me in, he put a sheet over her head. Isn't that dangerous? What's going on Damon?" The fear was all over his face, he was scared. So was I. _

_"__W-what do you mean a sheet over her head?" I asked scared of the answer, unlike Stefan I knew what that meant._

* * *

><p>Back then I had been so scared at the thought of losing my mother. I wasn't ready for that, but I don't think anyone ever is. Because after all this time I'm still not ready for it.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I rushed to my mother and father's bedroom. Running as fast as my feet could take me, with Stefan not so far behind. I stopped abruptly as I stood outside their room. My biggest fear was then confirmed. Father was no where to be seen, and the doctors were writing stuff down as they examined the body that lay lonely on the bed.<em>

_"__You shouldn't be here" The doctor said as he stood up and walked slowly towards us. _

_"__Mother?" I choked out as my eyes filled with tears. _

_I felt Stefan pull on my shirt wanting to catch my attention. "Why are you so sad? What's wrong with her, Damon? Please tell me" I looked down at his sad green eyes. I blinked back the tears, I wouldn't break, specially not in front of Stefan. _

_I kneeled down so I was almost his height. "Well, mother was sick. And sometimes when people are very, very sick, they fall into a deep sleep" I said, trying to hide the sadness in my voice, how do you explain a 7 year old that he will never see his mother again?_

_He looked at me with a confused expression. "So, when will she wake up?"_

_I looked down sadly. "Never" the tears returned, but I wouldn't let them fall._

_Stefan looked up looking straight into my icy blue eyes. "But then how will she hug us, and talk to us?" he said growing sadder and sadder._

* * *

><p>Stefan hadn't been able to understand what death was back then. And he shouldn't have learned what it was at such a young age.<p>

People say that sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you want it too, but it isn't sometimes, it's never. I've never heard of a happy ever after, because they're not real. Life isn't meant to be as you wanted to be, life does whatever the hell it wants. And sadly, you can't do anything about it. If you end up as unlucky as me, you have to pay extra years. I had thought I had been playing life for over 150 years, but I was wrong, because even in death life is still playing _me._

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_She won't" I responded. _

_"__But won't that be… like being dead" Tears slowly started to fall down his cheeks, and as much as I wanted to sit down and cry, I wouldn't._

_I picked him up trying to cease his crying. "No, Stefan. It's not the same" I lied. I was giving him false hope and I knew that, but this wasn't just for him, I need this too. I had prepared for this, when mother had been incredibly sick a few months ago, but she had been getting better. She had gotten back to being our mother, she would take us outside, cook for us. I didn't understand. _

_As soon as Stefan noticed the doctor leaving he freed himself from my arms and ran towards the bed were my mother lay. I chased after him, which I will admit, was the stupidest thing I've ever done because the scene before my eyes has haunted me ever since. _

_Stefan had pulled the sheet down, and was now silently crying on mother's chest. I froze as I saw my mother's lifeless body. She seemed so calm, her beautiful, long, curly hair was surrounding her, her hands were placed right above her stomach, making her seem peaceful, but I knew that her death couldn't have been peaceful. She must have been in agonizing pain. _

_I snapped back to reality, and continued to make my way over to Stefan trying to peel him off of her. _

_"__Please Damon, don't take her away from me!" he sobbed. I continued to try to get him off._

_My hand accidently made contact with my mother's, and I instantly pulled away. It was cold and pale, I didn't like it. _

_I finally managed to get Stefan off, I carried him back to our room, not being able to bare the sight of my dead mother. _

_"__Stefan, please stop crying. Mother is okay, she feels no pain now, she's better" I tried to convince him, but how was I supposed to do that, when I didn't even believe that. When you are dead, you're dead, there is no second option, no alternative, your short, probably insignificant life is over and there's nothing to be done. _

_"__You're lying to me again!" he shouted angrily. _

_I sat him down, trying to calm him. "Listen, no one is truly yours. Not really, you just…get to borrow them for a while. But there's times where that person is needed somewhere else, so they take them away, and give it to someone who needs it more" I remembered, mother had told me the exact same words when her friend died, I had asked her why she was so upset and she explained to me, that she died, but in a nicer way. _

_I saw Stefan's frown grow and more tears stream down his cheeks. "But I need her more!" _

_"__Apparently not. But don't worry. I am still here" he looked up sadly._

_"__What if someone needs you more than me?" _

_I gave him a serious look. "No one will. You're my brother, and I won't leave you, no matter what happens?"_

_"__You promise?" he said as he wiped the tears from his face._

_"__I promise"_

* * *

><p>And that's where our story truly began. The Salvatore brothers, with that one promise, that I did my best to keep, though considering where I was at now, my best wasn't enough.<p>

But if I knew one thing, was that I wouldn't break that promise, I won't do that to him, I will get back.


	2. Alone I break

I stared at the ceiling, not wanting to get up. What for? I would just pretend that everything is okay, that I'm not miserable, that I'm not lost. But I'm done with pretending, I'm tired of having to be the strong one, why can't I just take off and leave. After all it was my brother the one who died, but everyone expects so high of me, I am 'the good brother' but that tittle means nothing when it is just me. Because life means nothing when you have absolutely no one to care about.

No one seems to understand, it feels like everyone is allowed to grieve but me. Like everyone expects me to be okay, but I'm not okay, my brother just died, he's gone, he has moved on and left me here. Even after all he did, he was still my brother, and as much as I hated him at times, the thought of killing him never even crossed my mind, because I knew that even after all Damon did, I couldn't live without him.

I could imagine what he would say if he saw right now

_"__Everything on this planet is not your fault. My actions, what I do, it's not your fault. I own them"_

But that didn't change the fact that I missed my brother

* * *

><p><em>I sat outside on the long hallway of our home, I stared at the room that just a couple days ago had been my mother's. <em>

_That was now part of my routine, I would observe it for hours, hoping that one morning she will come out, and that all this had been a lie. Damon said it was useless, that mother was gone, but I refused to lose hope, after all, mother promised me she would never ever leave me, and no one should break promises. _

_I heard loud noises coming from the room me and Damon shared. _

_I didn't like that, Damon had been acting weird lately, he was kind of scaring me. Since mother fell into the 'deep sleep' Damon had been sad, and quiet. I tried to cheer him up, but he just smiles sadly and then he turns away. _

_I ran down the hallway, feeling the cold floor under my feet. The noise kept growing louder and louder, until suddenly it stopped. Which worried me even more, I ran faster, until finally I reached the door._

_I snuck my small head through the tiny gap between the door. I saw Damon sitting in the middle of the room, his head in between his knees. _

_I furrowed my eyebrows, I was confused. "What are you doing?" _

_He turned to me, surprised to see me standing there. He cleared his throat before answering "Um, nothing. It's okay Stefan" he said, his voice sounded thick, and weird, like I've never heard it before. As he raised his head I noticed his cheeks were wet, and there were tears in his eyes. But that couldn't be, Damon doesn't cry, never. _

_Our room was a mess, things were scattered all over, he had punched the wall, leaving a hole, and many broken things lay on the floor, but they seemed perfect compared to my brother, he was truly broken, probably beyond fixing._

* * *

><p>And I had been right, Damon was never the same after that. The sweet, caring, joyful person he once was, died that same day, and no matter how hard I tried to get that person back, I failed.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I walked slowly towards him, as if I might scare him away, because…I might. I didn't know what to do, whenever Damon was upset, mother would cheer him up, she would talk to him and everything would be okay. But mother wasn't here anymore, it was up to me. <em>

_I sat down next to him, trying to put my words together. "Damon?" _

_I heard him sigh "It's okay, Stefan. I'm okay, you can leave" he said quietly, obviously not wanting me here, but I wouldn't leave. _

_"__What happened?" He didn't answer. I placed my small hands on his head, making him lift his head up. Tears continued to fall. "What happened?" I repeated. _

_"__Grown up problems, Stefan" Damon said before looking away. _

_I looked at my brother, I was scared. What could have happened that made him this upset. He always told me everything, and now he didn't want to. _

_I looked down "I'm scared, Damon" I said quietly. He softened his expression, but he still refused to look at me, had I done something? _

_"__I'm scared too" Damon said, and those words were enough to make me panic. Damon knew everything, he was the strongest and smartest person, if he was scared then I should obviously be too._

* * *

><p>I smiled at that. Ever since we were little, I've always admired Damon, I would always tell him, that I had been given the best brother in the world, I just wished I had said so more often. Now it was too late, and all the unsaid words that I was left with, were now trapped inside my mind, never to be said.<p>

* * *

><p><em>He looked at my frightened expression, his blue eyes searching for my green ones. We stood there in silence, neither one of us had the right words. <em>

_"__Father left Stefan" Damon suddenly said. I was confused, what did he mean?_

_"__What does that mean?" I heard Damon sigh._

* * *

><p>It meant my father was a bastard, he had left both of his sons completely alone. Damon was 14, I was 7, and my father just left without warning. I understood that my mother was the love of his life, and I understood how painful it must have been, but that doesn't justify it. Nothing does, and nothing ever will.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I looked at Damon's pained expression. "I'm alone now. That's what it means"<em>

_I raised my small hand to wipe a single tear from his cheek. He looked at me sadly, but smiled. Watching him smile was like a miracle these days, he never did so anymore. _

_"__You're not alone Damon, I'm still here. And I won't leave, we have each other, that's what matters" That's what mother always used to say. She said that one day after everyone was gone we would only have each other, but I never expected that to be so soon._

* * *

><p>What she never thought through was, what about when he was gone too, what did I have left then?<p> 


	3. Night changes

Being alone had never been an issue before, it was something I was use to. Ever since I was young I was very lonely, but at some point I enjoyed loneliness. And at times I even needed it. But now, it was killing me. It was eating me alive. I will never know how I survived 145 years like that. I missed them. All of them. I couldn't help it, as hard as I tried to distract myself, to convince myself that I had more important things in mind, I just couldn't stop thinking about them.

I looked at my surroundings. I used to be able to see the living, but as time has gone by, I have lost that privilege. All the disgustingly healthy people I use to be able to see, have now vanished. I am no longer allowed to see my brother or any of my friends. Which means that whatever was happening to the other side still is. I might have been left behind, but that didn't change the fact that the other side was crumbling down. I needed to find a way out.

I replayed my last minutes with Bonnie over and over. Where was she? Why was I here? Is she even still alive?

I quickly shook that thought out of my mind. Of course she was alive. She couldn't be dead, I wouldn't allow it. Me and Bon Bon might have our differences, but I would never let anything happen to her. After all, I've lived 173 years while she was, I mentally slapped myself. Bonnie was still alive, I refused to accept otherwise. She _is_ 20. She's good, and well we all know the same can't be said about me.

I walked and walked around the now empty streets of Mystic Falls. She had to be here somewhere.

"Bonnie! Bonnie!"

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Stefan! Stefan, where are you!" I screamed, though there was no answer, just absolute silence followed. _

_I returned from school a little after sunset, like I usually did, I always walk around town to see if there is any work I can do. So I can help Victoria pay for our things, not that we needed it, father had not taken the money, but I still felt bad. _

_When I walked through the door, Victoria told me Stefan was missing. _

_Now I loved Victoria, after our father left, she had taken care of us, which I admire, since everyone else in the house completely ignored the fact that we had became orphans. But in situations like this, she could be absolutely frustrating, instead of looking for Stefan, she had freaked out and waited for me to come home. _

_I continued screaming for Stefan around the house. He usually hid under his bed, or somewhere small where only he could fit. _

_"__What happened!" I yelled, completely mad that she had let my brother run away._

_"__He came home and said he was upset, something about school, he went to his room, and after a while I called him to get dinner, and well he didn't come, so I went to his room, and he wasn't there, and now he…he" she broke into tears once again. She loved Stefan, she took care of us like we were her kids, and I knew she did her best, but right now all I could think of was finding my brother._

* * *

><p>I felt the cool air brush against my skin as I ran. Walking just wasn't enough anymore, I needed to find her, I needed to find Bonnie. She had to be here somewhere, it couldn't just be me. There had to be someone out there.<p>

At this point I didn't really care who it was, I just needed hope. Someone to tell me that I wasn't alone in the world, that I could still go home to my brother, that I could still keep my promise to him.

* * *

><p><em>I ran around town screaming and asking if anyone had seen him. I could see how people looked at me. I was the rich kid who had been abandoned by his father. I was a mess. <em>

_I kept running through looks of pity, and disappointment. Everyone in town knew my story. It was a hobby of theirs to tell the pathetic tale of my life. And despite of everything screwed up in our lives, some people still envied us for our fortune. _

_Kids at school hated us, we were freaks. We stood out. Specially from the richer families, like the Fells, or the Gilberts. Our families had once been close, but ever since my mother passed, they believed to be better, they looked down on us, and they made us feel like crap. _

_I walked and walked, until I couldn't see any more houses or people, just trees. I could hear the water of the river flowing, the birds singing around the trees, and at the distance I could hear soft crying. After walking for a couple minutes, I found him, he was sitting at the edge of the river, with his head down, staring at his reflection in the water. _

_I slowly made my way towards him, scared that he might run. When he didn't move I sat down. We remained in silence for a while, until I spoke up._

_"__Are you okay Stef?" _

_He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Why do you care so much about me?" I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was all I had, it was him and I against the world._

_"__Because you're my brother, it's up to me to protect you" _

_I notice a couples tears slide down his cheeks, which confused me. "But what if you're not my brother?"_

_"__Stef, of course I'm your brother. We share the same mother and father, which makes us brothers. I thought you knew that"_

_"__But James told me that it's impossible for you and me to be brothers, because we don't look alike. You have blue eyes and mine are green, and your hair is black and my hair is brown. He said I'm adopted" More tears streamed down his cheeks as he finished his sentence, the sight of him like this made my heart ache. He had ran away for fear of not being my true family. It was absurd, we looked alike, just different color of hair and eyes. I wanted to beat up that kid James Gilbert so bad. He was always annoying Stefan and making him feel bad. All Gilberts were annoying as hell. After I get myself and Stefan out of this town, I'll hopefully never have to talk to one again. _

_"__Well he's an asshole. He's wrong. The reason you have green eyes and I don't is because I look more like mother and you look more like father. But Stefan" I said making him look directly at me. He needed to understand he wasn't alone. "It doesn't matter if you're my brother or not. I will always be here for you. Remember, I promised I would never leave you" And I wouldn't leave him. Ever._

* * *

><p>I ran around the whole town, until I met again with the bright light that was suppose to end my life weeks ago. There was no way out of Mystic Falls. I was surrounded by oblivion just waiting there to take me. Hunting me down. Waiting for me to give into it.<p>

I searched every street, every building, every house, Bonnie wasn't here. She was gone. She was dead.

And for the first time in years, I let the tears fall. The town that I have called my home for over a century, was now nothing but empty streets, the house I was born and raised in, was nothing more than broken pieces of stone, the people I had once cared for were gone, this place wasn't my home, not anymore. When you live for this long, everything disappears, and you have no other option other than watch it slowly wear down, and fade away.


End file.
